In my consulting case, accounted for nearly half of the youth problems through counseling, I have found that many children's problems with their original ecological family has a close relationship, especially in the presence of family education of many errors, serious impact on children healthy growth, even had ruined their happiness the saying goes, there is no problem children, only problem parents, parents' education are summarized in the typical errors:
A sex education Mistakes
Many parents think that children do not need either sex, so they grow up naturally understand, or to talk about 'sex' pale, tried to evade the issue of sex and exclusion. But in reality, for children of different ages to there are different ways of education.
Such as 2-5-year-old child, parents often ask, 'I come from.' 'Why am I able to squat to pee,' and other issues, some parents tend to be vague or evaded. Such an attitude is not only He lost the best opportunity for the children of sex education, but it will also let the child began to avoid sex and hide, that 'sex is dirty.'
During this period there will be some boys and girls will observe each other touch each other's genitals, which is a kind of curiosity, did not actually desire sexual aspects of essence. If the big difference between men and women do not make the best people to tell them , but rather rudely interrupted them, will leave the shadow of the heart in children, severe cases can affect the normal marriage emotional and interpersonal children. I did a case, a girl 27 years old, had never talked about love, and the boys did not dare exchanges, boys always tried to evade close reason it is very simple, parents always taught her childhood she could not puppy love, can not have too much contact with the boys, now lead the entire interpersonal problems arise, on the other hand she has this demand, it is very contradictory, but do not know how to handle, resulting in depression.
Another point to pay special attention, intimacy between husband and wife to avoid being seen children, many parents may think the child is still small, do not understand this, but studies have found that people can clearly remember a thing when two years old, they were It may indeed understand, but after puberty, through a variety of knowledge sources that aspect, they will think of these things, thereby affecting their perceptions about sex.
Parents should become children grow up best education instructor in the mind of a child with the problem should go to help their parents, if parents avoid these problems or improper boot is actually forcing children through bad books or other means to collect sporadic incomplete knowledge, knowledge leads to sexual deviation, to produce a variety of problems.
Second, personalized education Mistakes
Now the children are basically only child, the parents of their children's education easy to go to two extremes: one is particularly doting indulgence, the second is too much expectation and repression.
Some parents fear their children wronged, everything arranged, and would rather not let the children suffer their own involvement, as long as the kids liking what to do with him. The problem is that such children will certainly happy? Children no chance to learn to live learn to take care of themselves, can not afford to society after any setback, something happens to put the question thrown to parents. parents and children often complain that naive, not a man, do not know appreciate their parents, and the children do, but parents will feel chatter hundred, tube much meaning .-- fail their parents think they have been granted should follow your own, should do everything. now lift a child, I felt they ungrateful, self-centered , roots in the area? is their childhood living in the family environment caused!
There are many parents believe that their children must be strong than the other children, the child's expectations are high. To round Mom and Dad 'college' dream, in order not to call their parents in front of others 'lose face', the home becomes a desk It became a desk, a warm house into a serious class parents put their own interests, hobbies and think good Hobbies & TECHNOLOGY long imposed on children, so brutally strangled and children deprived of their interest requirements, making it today affluence child life is not happy. a young mother, a skinny little girl led to counseling, she asked the experts, her daughter was so thin? expert I asked to know, the little girl to a Sunday on a three an 'interest groups': English morning, afternoon mathematics, fine arts night, the little girl sat there, not saying a word, his eyes dull expert conclusion: children tired.
Some parents will feel wronged, love and expectations wrong? Yes, but the love and desired way out of the question! Children to read get tired, go out for fun a play, my mother would say: '?? Nothing, stupid play can go to college without a diploma, how to find a job,' the children want to see cartoons, mother pull a long face, 'no, you do not watch TV family man, and you have the nerve to look at?' in this way, the children taught at a desired outstanding unified whole family is always in 'combat readiness' status, work all day, softly, speak whispered stingy all for one goal: the children have to climb up the ivory tower can not tip or two days, the children recognize, and a month for two months, the child put up, 365 days a year, every day, pressure, pressure. pressure, and finally the tragedy happened to the child: runaways, weariness weary, love to fight all kinds of early sexual activity and other rebel theft, rivalries, manic depression and other mental coercion problem after another.
Third, the moral education of Mistakes
In many cases educational theory is not endless, but the words and deeds, uncles, parents are the child plays a subtle role in the daily life of every word and action.
Parents are likely to occur in the unit with my colleagues unhappy, defeated rivals in the business world, many people are not objectively analyze the causes and lessons learned, but other abuse in the home, do not think that small children do not understand anything, he has learned hatred abandoned the competition, they saw a beggar on the street corner hurried to the child that they are deceptive, see thieves pry neighbor's door, he pretended firmly shut the door of their own, do not think that small children do not understand anything, he has learned to abandon the selfish love, the children tell the truth to get money to buy sweets at home, the results of a beating, lie said the school to collect the money and eliminates the physical pain Do not think that small children do not understand anything, he has learned to lie and abandoned honest ......
Now we need to consider is that in the end should be how to educate children? Farmers how to treat crops, decided the fate of the crops, the parents (microblogging) how to treat a child, decided the fate of the child. Farmers want to grow crops mood quickly, and parents want their children taught early feelings are exactly the same, however, the practice is often different:? farmers night thinking what crops need, how to meet the needs of different crops of different crop species law parents to educate their children awake at night when there is no thought of what the soul of the child needs? how to meet the needs of children grow up? when crops grow well, crops farmers never complains, on the contrary, is always looking for from their own reasons, not children learn, some parents but blindly blame the child, there is no thought of his responsibility on himself, find out why?
This is my final point, misunderstanding of family education come from? Parents had a child, and now young people in the future also be parents, why these problems occur now? Just find and solve the root causes, in order to eliminate family Education misunderstanding, cultivate children really grow up!
This article taken from counselors Han Meiling blog, Click to view the original text.
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